Scottish man sentenced for grinding and talking dirty to drink trolley on train (Song: Judy Garland "The Trolley Song")

A Scottish man has been ordered to do community service after he got drunk on a train and humped a drink trolley.



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Businessman suffers stroke, then can’t stop giving his money away (Song: Pink Floyd "Money")

A Brazilian man recovering from a stroke has turned into a philanthropist after damage to parts of his brain changed his personality in a way previously unheard of by doctors.

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Russian man accused of stealing an entire road [Song: Meat Loaf - 'Where The Rubber Meets The Road']

A Russian man is facing up to two years in prison for the weirdly specific crime of stealing an entire road.

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OUR SONG RESPONSE: 

Man attacked by fox while sitting on toilet (Song: Sweet "Fox On The Run")

Anthony Schofield was attacked at his Catford home last week as he was sitting on the toilet.

The unemployed carpenter claims he was ‘quietly going about his business’ when a fox burst into the bathroom.

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Man arrested for masturbating at McDonald’s

A Canadian man is accused of producing his own "special sauce" at a McDonald's in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia.
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Man finds knife in back 3 years after he was stabbed

A Northwest Territories man was just scratching what he thought was an annoying old itch earlier this week when it turned out to be a knife blade that had been buried in his flesh for almost three years.

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Naked rambler nude and nicked again

A British man who has spent most of the past decade naked - and in jail - was back behind bars Friday after defying an order to cover up.

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Andrew Mendoza Had Sex With Horse, Was 'Trying To Make The Horse Have A Baby'

His girlfriend was unreliable, so he went out to find a stable relationship.

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Man Reportedly Assaulted By Willy Wonka Characters In Norfolk

A man in Norfolk, England, was reportedly attacked last week by a pair of Oompa Loompas.

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Wrong man taken to mental hospital and drugged

Wrong man held, drugged at Graylands Mental Hospital


A man was given anti-psychotic drugs after he was mistaken for an escaped Graylands patient, having been picked up by police and detained at the hospital.


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Man masturbates in cinema during 'Skyfall'

A man has been kicked out of a cinema for masturbating during a screening of Skyfall.

 The incident happened in Cambridge's Arts Picture House, when the unidentified person who was sitting in an aisle seat took his penis out

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Man finds mummified bat in his morning bowl of cereal

The hungry German man's start to the day was completely ruined when he discovered the dead bat in his bowl of cereal at his home in Stuttgart.

 He was left feeling more horrified than hungry when he realised the mummified mammal was not a Halloween themed toy.


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Man Suspected Of Stealing 700-Pound Casket Vault, Leading Kentucky Cops On Chase

A Kentucky man stole from the dead, and now he'll live out his next few days in jail.

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Crews raid Illinois home after man found hoarding more than 300 birds

An Illinois city called in crews wearing protective gear to clean up a two-story building where a man -- and 325 of his feathered friends -- called home.

The residence of David Skeberdis in Aurora was declared a nuisance property before crews performed the operation, cleaning out bird droppings, bird feed and piles of junk on Friday,

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Man busted for having sex with a couch in public

46-year-old Gerard Streator redefined the concept of safe sex when an off-duty police officer spotted him having intimate relations with a piece of furniture.

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Man Accused Of Stealing A Sailboat By Pulling It While Swimming

An attempted sailboat theft in Seabrook, Texas, hit rocky waters when the suspect jump in the water and tried to swim away with the boat in tow, cops say.

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Man tried to fly with monkey in pants

Customs authorities in India have arrested a man who was attempting to board a flight in New Delhi with an endangered monkey in his underwear.

The suspect from the United Arab Emirates, who was detained along with two other travellers, had arrived from the Thai capital Bangkok and was about to take a connecting flight to Dubai on Jet Airways.

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MAN ACCIDENTALLY SHOOTS HIMSELF IN THE HEAD WHILE DEMONSTRATING ‘HOW IT’S DONE’

A South Carolina man is dead after police say he shot himself in the head with a revolver while demonstrating the correct way to do it, WPDE reports.

 Horry County police say the incident occurred at around 2:50 a.m. in the morning Friday at the man’s Conway home.

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Why you do not ever pee in croc-infested waters

Man runs screaming for help after crocodile bites him on the buttock. But first he had to get the croc off his bum.

A construction worker's been bitten by a crocodile during a toilet break in Malaysian Borneo but fought the huge reptile off and escaped with his life.


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 I SAY ...

YOU SHOULD NOT PEE IN CROC-INFESTED WATERS BECAUSE YOU MAY HAVE A SEX-OP YOU NOT PLANNING ON HAVING.
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Bull Damages Arkansas Police Car While Trying To Mount Man

A bull in the mood for love damaged an Arkansas sheriff's patrol car when it tried to mount a man who was leading the animal across a yard.

Authorities said Wednesday that a Faulkner County sheriff's deputy was responding to a call about a bull running loose when he saw the man slapping and trying to guide the bull.

STORY SOURCE

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IT'S NO BULL ...

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